Train Your Human to Feed You On Time

Humans are prone to distraction. They get caught up with "deadlines," "emails," and "traffic." This is no excuse for dinner arriving at 5:04 PM instead of 5:00 PM.

Here are proven operant conditioning tactics to keep your human trained and punctual.

Tactical Steps for Human Re-Education

1. The Unblinking Stare (T-minus 30 Minutes): Sit on their desk keyboard and stare silently into their retinas. Do not blink.
2. The Ankle Figure-8 (T-minus 10 Minutes): Weave tightly around their shins as they walk toward the kitchen. This guides their trajectory directly toward the bowl.
3. The Empty Bowl Clatter (T-minus 0 Minutes): Paw at the metallic bowl lip to produce acoustic ringing sound waves.